So this has become a thing now. This movie just won’t let me go.

This is not a case of unrealistic expectations or fanboy outrage about how Tron “ought” to be done. I had adjusted my expectations: a bare bones story which served as a life support system for an astonishing 3D experience. I dismissed Ebert as being curmudgeonly, Massawyrm liked it and Dave had seen it *twice*. All good signs.

But I was unprepared for the multifaceted failures I encountered. The film invented new ways to disappoint me, things I hadn’t even considered. But Tron put them on the table.

My chief complaint is that the movie did not choose to be about a particular thing and see it through to the end. Instead it teased me with all these ideas it *could have* been about. Tron tantalized with potential stories and discarded them almost immediately.

What is Tron Legacy about?  Here’s the multiple choice:

A) Open source software vs. the walled garden

B) Inheriting responsibility you might be unprepared for (the eponymous “Legacy”)

C) Interpreting today’s information culture through the lens of the Tron world as the original film did

D) Real life vs. virtual life

E) A father and son reconnecting

F) What is perfection?

G) An awesome action movie about a rescue that happens to take place inside a computer

H) Spontaneously created computer-based life and the impact that has on, well, fucking EVERYTHING

I) The responsibility (or lack thereof) the creator owes the creation

J) What has been going on in the Tron universe for the past 30 years?

K) The fall and redemption of Tron/Rinzler/Darth Maul

L) The implications of porting virtual life into the material world. Especially if they are nigh-immortal hotties in skintight glowsuits.

M) Why don’t I listen to more Daft Punk?

The movie could have picked just *one* of those things. Do it well, do it poorly, but make a *choice* and commit to it!

I am notoriously forgiving with films that are obviously meant to be a “thrill ride” where they hand out one-size-fits-all disbelief suspenders along with the 3D glasses. But Tron stepped into a different sandbox. The movie is peppered with brilliant concepts and all I got to see were the dying embers of the sincerity which originally evoked them. I found that irresponsible storytelling.

There was no thrill ride left for me to fall back on, nothing where I could say, “Well, at least there’s this.” Because the rest of the film aped the original in its aesthetic: Real sets bathed in a glow filter interspersed with CGI abstractions of chase scenes. Lightbikes 2 on my iPhone remains a more visceral experience than the light cycle scene. The opportunity to up the game, to blow people’s minds with that iconic vehicle that makes Tron Tron was wasted.

I’m not saying it is impossible to enjoy anything about the movie. There are moments, ideas, that flare brightly and command my attention. But it’s like saying “Remember that one firework from last 4th of July? The red one with the green sparkles? Yeah, that was cool.” You’re at an event where you can either get jazzed about a sparkler or you can celebrate liberty.